10 *KEY0 RUN |M
   20 MODE 128:VDU2
   30 VDU1,27,1,97,1,1:REMCtrg On
   40 VDU1,27,1,69:REM Emph On
   50 VDU1,14:PRINT"†PENSIONERS DENY POOLS† WIN"
   60 VDU1,14:PRINT"†---------------------†----"'
   70 VDU1,27,1,70:REM Emph Off
   80 :
   90 PRINT"…Mr Downie a pensioner in his… early seventies said"
  100 PRINT"'…Yes it's true I have just b…ought a new car and a new five bedroome…d"
  110 PRINT"…house with double gates in M…orningside Edinburgh,  And yes I have …bought"
  120 PRINT"…a new golf club,  But it onl…y has nine holes',"'
  130 :
  140 PRINT"ƒMrs Downie, (40), Who descriƒbes herself as a premature pensioner saƒid"
  150 PRINT"'ƒIt was just luck that we diƒdn't win,  We don't actually fill in the ƒpools"
  160 PRINT"ƒcoupon so when the cheque diƒdn't arrive we weren't really suprised',"'
  170 :
  180 PRINT"‚Asked what they where going ‚to do with the money they didn't have,"
  190 PRINT"‚Mrs Downie replied, 'We will‚ give half to our handsome young son"
  200 PRINT"‚who doesn't need it,  So tha‚t he will not be able to buy a new hous‚e',"'
  210 :
  220 PRINT"�Mr Downie moving over to the� electric fireplace,  Coughed and spat �into it"
  230 PRINT"�Mrs Downie gave him a long s�tare and turning to our reporter said,"
  240 PRINT"'�I must appologise for him, �I keep telling him that it's not a real �fire"
  250 PRINT"�but when you get to his age,�  Well you know,  I've had to remove th�e poker"
  260 PRINT"�for obvious reasons,  He's a�lready blacked the town out twice',"'
  270 :
  280 PRINT"ƒMr Downie turned to our repoƒrter, 'Eh! whats that?  Give him half'"
  290 PRINT"ƒwhat we haven't won,  Never!ƒ That good for nothing skinflint,  He wƒoudn't'"
  300 PRINT"ƒspend it, I haven't worked hƒard all my life to have nothing just toƒ give"
  310 PRINT"ƒhim half to spend',"'
  320 :
  330 PRINT"†At this Mr Downie sat down a†nd then eased himself up to one side an†d broke"
  340 PRINT"†wind in a most viscous manne†r,  Mrs Downie buried her face in her p†inafore"
  350 PRINT"†either through embarassment †or fear and our reporter went to retrie†ve his"
  360 PRINT"†cap,  And after opening the †window I asked Mrs Downie if they had a†ny"
  370 PRINT"†plans for going on holidays †this year,"'
  380 :
  390 PRINT"'…No we did think of going to… America,  To Chicago in fact,  But whe…n i"
  400 PRINT"…heard that it was called Win…dy City,  No I thought I get enough of …that"
  410 PRINT"…with him over there',"'
  420 :
  430 PRINT"‚Mr Downie said nothing but r‚aised himself up again,  Mrs Downie smi‚led"
  440 PRINT"‚sympathetically at me and sa‚id, 'Do you want a hanky dear?, It some‚times"
  450 PRINT"‚helps,'Mr Downie sat down ag‚ain, False alarm, We all breathed again‚, But"
  460 PRINT"‚not too deeply,  I thanked t‚he couple for their time and took my le‚ave,"'
  470 :
  480 PRINT"„As I was going out of the fr„ont door,  Mrs Downie called after me,'„ Just"
  490 PRINT"„leave the front door open we„ need the flow through of air', I did a„s she"
  500 PRINT"„requested,  More in sorrow t„han in anger,  As I reached my car I he„ard the"
  510 PRINT"„sound of Mr Downies voice,  „'Has he gone then? Thank heavens for th„at,"''
  520 VDU1,27,1,119,1,1:REMDblHght On
  530 VDU1,27,1,45,1,1:REMUnderline On
  540 VDU1,27,1,69:REM Emph On
  550 PRINT"�I hate having to be polite w�hen strangers are in."'
  560 VDU1,27,1,119,1,0:REMDblHght Off
  570 PRINT"�/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\"'
  580 VDU1,15:PRINT"†Written by Jim Downie":VDU1,18:REM Comp Off
  590 VDU1,27,1,69:REM Emph Off
  600 VDU1,27,1,45,1,0:REMUnderline Off
  610 VDU1,27,1,97,1,0:REMCtrg Off
  620 VDU3:END
  630 REM" ”<,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,l
  640 REM"�”5�   �ƒScotch Humour  œ  ”j
  650 REM"�”5�   �ƒScotch Humour  œ  ”j
  660 REM" ”5 …    Composed  By      ”j
  670 REM" ”5 †     Jim Downie       ”j
  680 REM" ”5ƒComputed By Fred Price ”j
  690 REM" ”5‚       10/8/94         ”j
  700 REM" ”-,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.
  710 REM" ‚��     SAVE"POOLS"         œ
  720 REM" ”��    Win The Pools"       COUNT